tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3765291863190847310.post4097979730012566011..comments2008-04-23T20:26:01.371-07:00Comments on Grey Suit, Black Tie: Three Dead BoysJ Pattersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00835231457178558222noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3765291863190847310.post-31546788274561125532008-02-20T11:17:00.000-08:002008-02-20T11:17:00.000-08:00made me smile, clever.made me smile, clever.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3765291863190847310.post-82901922904112055912008-01-20T17:48:00.000-08:002008-01-20T17:48:00.000-08:00080110 11:37 "Three Dead Boys"-----(Although I'm n...080110 11:37 "Three Dead Boys"<BR/>-----<BR/>(Although I'm no great writer or critic, I hope my comments help you out in some way.) <BR/>Mainly dealing with grammatical unsophistication: vocabulary, paragraph separation in conversation, and some minor spelling mistakes. The introduction - description and setting - feels too forced. It does tell of the situation's "place" but barely introduces the story. Not until further down, do I get a feel for the story's direction. It's important to set up the direction as a primary goal, then setup the environment. After the initial write, the first edit smoothly works them together. That basic technique goes for every great writer, including the most avant garde. It's your unique adaptation that gives your style an edge.loveOliverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17965533357697229325noreply@blogger.com